Are you someone who wants to succeed in something, but it seems as though you're not making any progress at all?
I've been there.
“Never let success get to your head; never let failure get to your heart.” – Anonymous
Often times, people hear of others’ success stories and the common responses are inspiration, where they desire for the same in their lives, see others’ success as an example to emulate, and work towards it as their aspiration, or envy, where they see and take others’ success with a grain of salt, or self-pity, where they see their dire situation and perceive success to be unattainable, or perhaps indifference, where they are just apathetic, whether or not they achieve success in their lives. But regardless of how people respond to success in general, some still have the wrong perception about it. In one way or another, we want to succeed in life and in certain things we do that are important to us. Even those who are indifferent have an unconscious desire for success in some respects that may seem insignificant and just goes unnoticed—such as completing a simple task or chore, learning a new skill or hobby, or small personal goals. But we need to debunk some misconceptions about success and unlearn some things we have learned from we were younger, that we may change our warped perception of success towards a deeper level of perspective.
What Does Success Really Mean?
Here are 5 Common Misconceptions of Success:
Misconception #1: Success is marked by significant achievements.
Growing up in the Philippines, or in any Asian country with the same cultural norm, we usually have that generic and default meaning of success. There was always that mentality of success that stems from deep-rooted Asian beliefs and customs. This fabricated traditional Asian success often means being a doctor, a lawyer, a renowned business owner, or working overseas. Usually, anything out of those fields or social status is deemed as failure or is frowned upon. We all know this is not true and fortunately, in this day and age, people have been more accepting. Growing up as a Filipino with those cultural norms, it has been somewhat a 'tradition' that in every large family gathering, you would always hear about what happened to whom, a child from the other side of the family being compared to another child from the other side of the family, doctors, lawyers, and those working or have migrated overseas are praised and other professions that don't make much are frowned upon, and sometimes even humiliated, single women being pressured into getting married, and many other instances that may have warped almost everyone's perception of success.
We must understand that success is not necessarily paramount to achieving big things, acquiring a large amount of money, or any other substantial accomplishments. I believe that success is more than just finishing a law, medicine, or science degree. It's more than medals, trophies, or any formal recognition. I believe that true success is being able to do what you're purposed to do on this earth. Just as a human body has many parts, each of those parts play an essential role and function. While our appendix may be a small organ that could seem insignificant, but it has an important role to aid our immune system and maintain our gut bacteria. No matter how small or insignificant we think we are and what we do, our purpose and function are a part of a whole bigger picture. Just as some occupations may not earn as much as other professions, but they are a vital part of society. True success is when we do what we are called to do and live out our God-given purpose and destiny.
"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." – Francis Chan
Misconception #2: Success has a pattern.
In our generation today, social media plays a central role in many aspects. Many platforms have revolutionized how we communicate with one another and has even been primary sources of information. Among many other facets, social media has also been a major source of entertainment across several platforms that provide users with diverse and engaging content. In many forms of content found in social media, there will always be motivational and inspiring ones from renowned businessmen, professionals from the healthcare field, writers, influencers, and people with rags-to-riches stories. From videos, posts, reels, blogs, podcasts, you may hear many of these success stories. Although these are insightful and can help us be inspired or motivated, what worked for them might not always work for us.
It's alarming to see a lot of misinformation on many popular platforms, knowing that some people who are not properly educated can be gullible with some of these things, especially the younger generation. There are 15-second hacks that promise a cure for whatnot from a random person that isn't backed up by research or by a professional, rumors about celebrities, political conspiracies, and there's also advice from many influencers or distinguished people that goes along the lines of, "I did this. If you do this too, you can achieve this.", and people follow. Naturally, when we hear of people's success stories, it becomes an example for us to emulate and it sparks a drive in us. However, watching a 15-second reel about it doesn't make it effective or something that can apply to you. It shows the success, but leaves out the process—the failures, setbacks, and breakdowns behind-the-scenes. There are other successful people we could learn from, but their stories are unique to themselves. We cannot take one's story and apply it in our own lives hoping things will turn out the same. Yes, there are principles we could use, experiences we can learn from and relate to, but your story is unique—your culture, your upbringing, your struggles, and your entire journey. There is no pattern to success. It's a process that's unique to one's own journey.
"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." – Arthur Ashe
Misconception #3: Success is binary.
Going back to traditional Asian culture and long-held beliefs, it usually only goes two ways. You can only be either a success or a failure. As I grew up, my warped definition of success limited me to do certain things in life because of the fear of failure and disappointment. They say if you don’t have a medical, law, or science degree, if you are not a renowned business owner, if you are not working or have migrated overseas, you have failed in life. If you pursued your passion as an artist and don’t earn as much as other professions in those well-distinguished fields, you are a disappointment. If you are a business owner and the business goes under or experiences bankruptcy, you’re a failure. If you graduated without impeccable grades and exceptional honorary recognition, you’re a screw up. There are so many instances of this toxic mentality and mindset towards success thinking it’s something binary. It's never black and white.
In fact, failure is not the opposite of success but rather a part of the process and journey towards success. As what we've talked about in the previous blog post, there are so many great leaders, thinkers, inventors, and scientists in the past and even modern-day businessmen that went through failures, setbacks, pressures, ridicule, disappointments and so on, before they birthed ideas that became revolutionary breakthroughs that we now enjoy in today's time. Failing doesn't mean you're a failure. Don't let failures define you, but rather teach you.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." – Thomas Edison
Misconception #4: Success is a linear process.
Sometimes, we see other people's success stories and how easy they make it look from its facade. And often times we try to make a pattern or a formula to success that if we do A, we will achieve B. There is no formula to success. We cannot guarantee what happens tomorrow, the next month, or the next year. Stock values can change in the blink of an eye, the supply and demand curve could shift at a glance making businesses go under in an instant. In 2019, in the light of the COVID-19 outbreak, our school received an announcement that classes will be suspended for 2 weeks. My school is about 60kms and a 2-hour ferry ride away from my hometown. Due to short notice, and the rush of knowing they're about to close ports all around town, we didn't bring much of our stuff just to catch the last few trips home. Those 2 weeks became 2 months, and those 2 months became 2 years. Globally, the pandemic was one of the hardest years for a lot of people. Many businesses, churches, companies, and families were affected drastically—nobody saw it coming.
The road to success is never a highway. It's not a linear process or a straight line. Often times, it's moving one step forward and two steps back, tripping a few times and getting back up. There will always be setbacks, failures, and things that are out of our control. But that doesn't mean we've failed in life. Success is a process and a long winding road. There will always be road bumps, obstacles, and challenges. And that is the beauty of the journey to success.
"Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations" – Anonymous
Misconception #5: Success is an endpoint.
As I was writing this blog, I was honestly a little hesitant because some people's perception of success may be based on these misconceptions and knowing that I haven't done much yet to call myself a successful person, people might ask, "Are you even credible enough to write about this?" But I didn't let it get to me in the hopes to break this mentality and solely because of this last point I will share with you in this post. As a young adult, I still have long way to go as I navigate through life. Although I have succeeded in some areas of my life, I don't consider myself successful yet. Not because I haven't achieved anything remarkable, having countless failures and setbacks, or not receiving any kind of recognition, but because success is not a momentary achievement, a milestone, or an endpoint. Success is a never-ending process.
True success is not measured while we live. True success is measured when we pass. Walt Disney has had countless failures and setbacks before his big break. He may not have lived to see much of it, but his legacy lives on even after he passed. True success in life is when we do what we are called to do on this earth and leaving a legacy that will live on forever. Our legacy doesn't end when we die, it must be passed on to the next generation. It's not just a list of achievements or accomplishments, but the imprint you leave in the future. Our life is not measured by its length, but by the impact and legacy we leave.
“Success is not a destination, it’s a journey” – Zig Ziglar
If you were gone tomorrow, what would you be known for? Make your life count, make every day count. Only we can choose what legacy we leave behind. Only we can choose how we want to be remembered. That is true success—that even when we pass, our legacy lives on and continues to speak in the lives of others, perpetuating the purpose of God for the next generation.
How would you want to be remembered?
May what you learned today impact you and continue on to the next generation. Do share your heart and thoughts in the comments and I would like to hear your stories as well. See you on the next blog post!
Sending love,
Coleene.
Read the previous blog post here: Embracing Every Moment: 6 Secrets to Making the Best Out of Life.
True success is when our life becomes a legacy that is passed on. Truth! 💯