Are you someone who is going through a tough time in life? Or perhaps you are in the midst of opposition, conflict, or difficult situations and don't know how to get out of that predicament?
I've been there.
"Your decisions in life make you, but a crisis reveals you." — John C. Maxwell
As defined, a crisis is an event or a situation, that is often a critical occurrence or phase that becomes a turning point in one's life, in which a decisive change is impending, especially one with the distinct possibility of a highly undesirable outcome. According to Jim Taylor, Ph.D., he defined crisis as “An event or situation that arises suddenly or reaches a tipping point in its severity that has the effect of significantly disrupting lives and threatening the status quo, and that may also have long-term, harmful consequences on individuals or groups.” Crisis in life is inevitable. At some point in our lives, we may have undergone a time of crisis, adversity, or challenging and difficult times. May it be a physical crisis, financial crisis, natural crisis, relational crisis, or even a spiritual crisis, the reality is that we all go through all sorts of crises, and it is a part of life. But question is, how do you deal with crisis in life? And what kind of person are you becoming in the face of adversities? How do you manage and respond in these difficult times?
How Do I Thrive in Times of Crisis?
Crisis is an inevitable part of life. Learn How to Overcome Adversity with these Strategies to Thrive in Times of Crisis:
1. Deal, not Deflect.
Crisis in itself is an unexpected event in our lives that creates a new threshold of uncertainty and instability, which naturally provokes primitive responses or reactions. When we walk into new paths in life we've never stepped foot on, it could be nerve-wracking not knowing what to do. When we encounter something unexpected that critically challenge us, often times it becomes a crossroad in our life, forcing us to make crucial decisions. Although, some people come across crisis in their life and becomes overwhelmed with the magnitude of their emotions, the weight of decision-making, the dilemmas, and seemingly insurmountable conflict or challenge in their relationships, workplace, finances, or whatever aspect in their life. For most, the natural response is to deflect the crisis—they run from it and avoid it at all costs. Just as our physical bodies, when under a threat, have what we call a fight-or-flight response. However, most people lean towards the ‘flight’ part of the response. I used to ride my bicycle all over the neighborhood with my friends when I was younger and whenever we hear dogs barking at us, our nervous system somehow sees it as a threat, and it triggers a surge of adrenaline in our veins that our first instinctive response was to flee and pedal as fast as we could. Well, fleeing was absolutely not the best choice. The dogs would usually chase us down the whole block and at least one of us would fall out of our bikes or get some sort of injury.
Some people encounter problems in their relationship with others but instead of communicating and dealing with the conflict, they choose to deflect it and suppress it, which in turn creates a bigger problem in the long run. Some people become confronted with situations that take a toll on their physical or mental health but instead of addressing the root of the issues, they choose to avoid it or tolerate it, which also could cause lasting damage and create a spiral of regret in our lives. But as what John F. Kennedy interestingly quoted, "When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity." This is a reminder for us that crisis does not solely connote a time of distress, trouble, or peril, but rather an opportunity for growth and limitless possibilities. Instead of avoiding, deflecting, or crisis, and allowing it to compromise and destroy us in the long run, let’s face it head on—accepting it, using it, learning from it, and growing from it. A crisis can either bring you higher or bring you further down. How do you see crisis in life?
"Close scrutiny will show that most 'crisis situations' are opportunities to either advance or stay where you are."— Maxwell Maltz
2. Respond, not React.
In my line of work, it’s not easy being surrounded by people much older than me. I mean this without any offense as some of the knowledge, wisdom, and experience from the past still applies and works to this day and age. The challenge is bridging that gap to today’s generation where there are new ways, new methods, new ideas, and new concepts. There had been a significant instance in my life where I had been misunderstood, deemed as disrespectful or defiant by asking questions, and deemed insubordinate by wanting to offer other solutions for the greater good. A surge of emotions came all over me at that moment, that probably because of my age, my actions were received differently. I felt hurt, frustrated, and everything else all at once, not knowing what to do from there. But had I reacted as a primitive response and allowed my emotions to get the best of me, we wouldn’t have preserved the relationship we have right now. Actions from both parties came from good intentions, but because of a distressing conflict, there is a crucial gray area called our response.
How we respond to crisis plays a central role in determining the consequences that will result from it, whether positive or negative. I made the important decision to put my emotions aside, apologized for how my actions may have been misunderstood, and personally forgave them in my heart even if they never gave an apology. How I look at them and how I treat them with honor and respect never did change until today because I decided to put a standard of honor and respect in my life. Reacting based on our emotions can be a temporary relief that can lead to permanent damages in our life and other people’s lives. Whatever kind of crisis you may be going through, choose to respond than react. To respond in challenging situations allows us to be more beneficial and constructive, while to react makes us destructive and usually always unhelpful at all. There will be crisis and adversities in our life that are inevitably out of our control. Although we cannot control what happens in our lives, we can control the way we respond. Who are we becoming as we come out of crisis and adversity in life?
“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” — John C. Maxwell
3. Find Solutions, not Find Fault.
I believe that in dealing with crisis, we should be more proactive rather than reactive. Human as we are, it is a natural response for us to feel angry, upset, hurt, or distressed by crisis in our lives. Our emotions and feelings are valid, but dwelling on what we feel will get us nowhere. In fact, being reactive could cause a whole lot of irreversible damage in many aspects of life, even towards others. As what John C. Maxwell said, "If you're proactive, you focus on preparing. If you're reactive, you end up focusing on repairing." Some people encounter a financial crisis in their lives and instead of finding ways to mitigate costs and producing new sources of income, they'd rather mope around their situation in a 'poverty mindset' or 'lack mentality' and wallow in self-pity. There's a saying that goes, "It's not your fault you're born poor. But it's your fault if you die poor." Some people encounter conflict or opposition, being in a troubling situation as a repercussion of the conflict that arose, and instead of finding solutions to fix the problem, they'd rather find excuses or reasons why they're right.
I once reconciled with a dear friend of mine that I haven't spoken to in years due to a conflict that drifted us apart. My friend reached out to me out-of-the-blue, and I was unsure of what to feel with the weight of the message I have received. We exchanged messages trying to patch things up, since we really didn't have the closure from the conflict we had years ago. We moved past it over the years, but for our peace of mind, we decided to talk about it. There was a constant exchange of explanations that come out as shifting the blame from one person to another, who's right or who's wrong, and bottled-up emotions back then that resurfaced as we talked. To be honest, it felt like there was no chance for us to ever reconcile as we had our differences, and we really weren't on the same page. Although, we met each other halfway, took accountability, and moved forward with our lives, leaving the past behind us. But I realized that if we just went on trying to find fault rather than solutions, we would've just gone in circles. Often times, it's easier to point fingers and blame something or someone for the things that happen in our lives. But as the saying says, "Blaming others is nothing more than excusing yourself." We cannot blame other people, our upbringing, our culture, or some other things for certain situations we become entrapped in. The outcome of our lives is just but a result of our choices and decisions that we make everyday. How would you manage and respond to crisis?
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." — African Proverb
In whatever crisis or adversity we go through in life, it only tests and reveals our character—who we truly are. It brings out the best and the worst of people, but the outcome us truly up to us and our own choices. We have nothing and no one to blame for our situations. It's our decision to respond positively and reap positive results. Let me leave you with this statement: “Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” —John C. Maxwell
May what you learned today help navigate your choices in life that as you come across adversity and crisis, you can overcome and thrive. Do share your heart and thoughts in the comments and I would like to hear your stories as well. See you on the next blog post!
Sending love,
Coleene.
Read the previous blog post here: Debunked: 5 Common Misconceptions About Success
Word 💯 ! While we are living here on Earth, we need to be aware of how we think and react to crisis in our lives.