Are you someone who’s tired and burnt out? Someone who thought of giving up? Or someone who just wants to let go and be free from all the burden and pressure that you’re carrying?
I've been there.
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going." – Don Delilo
Life is beautiful. But the ugly truth is, as much as it is beautiful, it is undeniably hard and cruel compared to the picture painted by fairytales we grew up hearing and reading about. In life, winning a battle isn't followed by a "happy ever after". Rather, it is an endless fight of convincing oneself to get up and keep going as a newer and more intense challenge comes along just after you have overcome one. As humans, without superpowers and unlimited strength, it’s hard to become positive and optimistic whenever we go through hard times in life. We often find ourselves at a point of exhaustion—deciding whether we still have the strength in us to keep going or to just give up. The latter always seems like the easier choice, but at what cost? How do you keep going? How do you manage and respond in these hard times? How do you rise above and push through hard times?
How Do I Push Through Hard Times?
To rise above is to choose not to be affected by the negativity that surrounds you. Learn these Strategies to be able to Push Through Hard Times:
1. Know Your Purpose & Stay Focused.
Your life is meant to be lived with purpose. We do not just exist for the sake of existing, but being alive means that your existence is needed at that specific time, in that specific place by that specific generation. Everyone has a unique talent and ability that contributes to the growth and development of an individual, community, company or even a nation. Just imagine if Galileo Galilei, the father of modern science was not born in the 1500s, there will be no proving that the Sun is the center of the Solar System and not the Earth. Or Zacharias Jansen, who was born in the same era as Galileo and was credited to be the inventor of the first microscope? There will be no knowing of the disease-causing pathogens and medicines to counter it. And think about it, will we achieve what we have at the present without their existence? No. They were needed in that era and became a solution.
When I was 11 years old, I went through a depressed state. It was the year when we moved out from our hometown to Bacolod City, Philippines—an unfamiliar and new environment. I didn’t want to move out. I didn't want to leave my friends and grandparents. I was happy in my hometown. When I asked my parents why we had to move, their answer will consistently be about being called for a greater purpose by God. I didn’t really understand. I would always cry every night for no reason, my grades went downhill, I would talk back to my parents and even attempt self-harm. I felt purposeless and empty. Why am I alive? Why do I have to live by my parents’ purpose, what is MY purpose? One night, I had my most unforgettable encounter with the Lord. He answered me saying that I have a purpose to become a strong support system to my family and to everyone around me, and that He promised to be there every step along the way. It was a turning point. I never felt more alive after that encounter with Him. Talking about purpose also reminds me of the time I asked God on what degree to pursue in college. I was set on pursuing Arts in Communication, but I can never see myself in that field. Amongst the top 5 of my career options, second in line was Nursing. I had my doubts as pursuing it means to financially be able, and it would be too demanding. When the pandemic hit, my doubts heightened—it was a risk. Pre-pandemic, when Coronavirus was still unconfirmed, it was a Saturday when we were praying during our church service and our Pastor read about Li Wenliang, a Chinese doctor who warned the world about Covid-19. I fell onto my knees as God told me that He needed more of His disciples to be in the medical field to help people at times of hopelessness and to become an instrument of His miracle-working power. It was a confirmation of how God unfolded His purpose for my life.
Purpose will ignite a fire within you to pursue what you must in life without any regrets, without squandering time, without becoming exhausted, without making concessions, and without losing focus or losing sight of what is essential. When you know your purpose, you will know what to focus on. Every decision you make will be aligned to your God-given purpose and that will become your fuel—your ‘why’ as you face adversaries and move forward in life.
“Your purpose is your identity. Focus your energy on great purposes.” – Amit Ray
2. Have a Positive Mindset & Perspective.
Mindset is a way of thinking. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as: a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations. A 2021 study by Ritu Modi and Abha Singh entitled: Positive Thinking and Resilience Among Students-A Correlational Study, revealed that there is a significant relationship between positive thinking and resilience. It was concluded that those who has positive thinking would have better resilience and successfully face adversities and better coping skills. According to another study, during the initial Covid-19 Pandemic, the younger cohorts—members of Gen Z and Millennial are considered as a psychological vulnerable population due to their mental health and maladaptive coping behaviors.
As someone who is under the Generation Z and had experienced the pandemic, it indeed took a toll on us. The whole two (2) years of the Covid 19-Pandemic was the hardest and most challenging years of my life, and I would consider it as a crisis. It was difficult time for everyone; businesses closed, hospitals were packed, schools were to adapt to an online modality, churches were emptied, and families were in a state of complete fear. Fear of death was in the air and a question lingers, “Will it ever go back to normal?”. My family and I were struggling financially, emotionally, mentally and physically—everyone seemed to be agitated and frustrated. I was entering as freshman pursuing my nursing degree in college online. When my family was in a vulnerable state, I had to step in and become the strongest to keep everything from falling apart. Instead of wallowing in despair, I chose to change my way of thinking. “We will get through this”, “This is just but temporary”, “Everything will be alright”, “God will never fail in His promises”, these were my mantras at that time, and I became my own encourager and motivator. Amidst the pandemic, I shifted my perspective and looked beyond, and thought to myself, "It is just a storm, and there is always calm after the storm". Sure enough, various anonymous deposits kept coming in, sustaining my college tuition including our day-to-day needs. Our family’s emotional and mental struggles were resolved through prayer and intentional and improved communication—we grew and became stronger. Then, vaccines were created and provided a way for social interaction; churches chose to stand in faith, were reaching out to people and helping one another, and schools went to limited face-to-face classes. Just like that, after almost two years of lockdown in the Philippines, we were coping and adapting.
Positive thinking isn't about disregarding problems to only think about positive results. It's about recognizing that obstacles are temporary and believing in your capabilities to overcome the challenges you encounter. It can be challenging to stay positive during hard times, but choosing to have a positive thinking and perspective can help us counter interact it.
“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside change along with it.” – Steve Maraboli
3. Acknowledge Your Vulnerability & Surround Yourself with the Right Company.
As John Dome quotes, "No man is an island.” Humans were not made to be alone. There are various research supporting the positive impact of having close and healthy relationships. According to a study, people who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression (Choi, K. W., et al., The American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 177, No. 10, 2020). An analysis of 38 research studies discovered that strong adult friendships, particularly those that offer social support and camaraderie, have a substantial impact on overall well-being and can act as a safeguard against mental health challenges like depression and anxiety. These advantages endure throughout the entirety of one's life.
Throughout my years of existence, I’ve always been a people-person. I am an extrovert, and I like socializing and being around people, but I am also picky with whom I consider my closest friends. Before a new school year starts, I would always pray, “Lord, give me the right friends”, to spare me from pain and hurt. I did not want to create a shallow friendship, but deep ones that can help me grow as a person. However, something held me back. As the eldest of the family, I have this innate independence and pressure that I have placed on myself that “I am strong. I don’t need help”. Just like Luisa Madrigal’s song “Under the Surface” from Encanto, “Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks, no mistakes” to which she talks about the pressure of being the eldest child is something I relate myself much with. These are two contradicting desires that I had to overcome. We are not perfect and there will be times that we will break, we will make mistakes and that we need help—that is what makes us human. There are many instances in my life during my college years that I was on the verge of giving up and breaking down, but these right people helped me to be sane and reminded me of the plans that God has ahead of me. It took me years to break that mindset and open my heart to the right people who will empower and encourage me to become the best that I can be. I had to acknowledge and accept my vulnerability to be rescued from the wrong mindset and grow as a person and even more enjoy life.
I am blessed that I have a confidant and the right company that I can entrust my life with. It makes life bearable and enjoyable. After all, is there a battle that can only be won by one person? No. Every army has ranks with specific roles and responsibilities. We cannot do it alone. We need people to speak over our lives and fight alongside us whenever we face hard times.
“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Wiliams
In conclusion, hard times in life are inevitable but we are made and designed to conquer challenges and adversaries in life. We need to choose to rise above it and face it head on with the mentioned strategies. There are no problems that we cannot find solutions to. We must look beyond and above it—change our mindset and shift our perspective. Let me encourage you with this mantra that I remind myself every time I face difficult situations in life: “How big is the problem than God that I should be affected by it?”
May what you learned today help you as you rise above your circumstances and encourage you to push through hard times. Do share your heart and thoughts in the comments. A warm welcome to Over Coffee and thank you to the writer of this blog post: Blessing Claro, Guest Writer. See you on the next blog post!
Sending love,
Coleene.
Read the previous blog post: Mastering The Art of Resilience: A Guide to Resisting External Forces for Victorious Living
Thank you so much for sharing this insightful blog post and your inspiring story, Blessing! 💯